Super duper.

I once read an article by Steve Bartel about motivations for working with children. I feel almost haunted by that article sometimes. It asks the reader to thoroughly examine their motives for wanting to do ministry. Basically (if I remember correctly) there are several motives for working with children, ranging from the good, the bad, and the ugly. For example some people are motivated by pity, for a need for redemption, compassion, and even pedophilia. The point of the article was what is your motivation for working with kids? What makes you tick? What makes me tick? Once we have drawn a conclusion or come up with some sort if answer…. We have to ask ourselves, "Is that a good answer??" Right now I work with kids. I’m at that awkward age/stage when I’m still trying to decide what to do with my life and wondering if I’ll ever figure it out. Do I want to work with young children for the rest of my life? And where?? I ask myself this question every day. In the morning I’ll have one answer and by lunch time I’m already imaging my life going in a completely different direction. And so I ask myself, “Why are you here? And is this something you want  to do forever?” I think to myself… Well I like it here. I’m learning a lot and having a lot of fun. I can’t really see myself anywhere else so why not? But that’s not such a good answer now is it? I think I got started doing this whole missions thing with this “out-to-save-the-world” complex. I see all of the injustice and sadness in the world and I feel compelled to do something. I feel compelled to don a red cape and fly off and fix the world. Rock my super hero hair and go do justice. But that’s not really realistic is it? And that feeling fades. See the thing is sometimes you don’t feel much like saving the world when your exhausted and your throat hurts from telling kids not to fight and all you want is a cup of joe, a little peace, and a really good book. And so I thought, “Why am I here? What should my motivation really be?”

I was reading Proverbs this morning and on a whim decided to flip to the book of Acts. In Acts chapter three, Peter heals a cripple beggar. As the story goes on in chapter four, the Sadducees are at it again trying to convict Peter and John of doing something bad. Just like how Clark Kent never gets Lois Lane, so it seems to go with all super heroes. Whenever you do good, something always comes about to bite you in the butt. And so for Peter, it was the Sadducees. The Sadducees finally agree to let Peter and John go on the account that they stop proclaiming the name of Jesus Christ. This is what they said, “Judge for yourselves whether it is right in God’s sight to obey you rather than God. For we cannot help speaking about what we have seen and heard (Acts 4:19-20.)” That really struck me. That is why I should do missions. Because I “cannot help speaking about what [I] have seen and heard.” Because Jesus loves me and I love Jesus who loves children and so I love children. Make sense? And Jesus makes a way better super hero than I do. I’ll let Him be super and be available for Him to work through me. That's motivation enough for me.

"Be the change you wish to see in the world." -Mahatma Ghandi

Book....

Have you ever really been wrapped up in a good book? When I get really into a good book, I spend all my time reading. If I really truly love the book I will postpone doing homework, daily tasks, chores, and even going to bed at a decent hour all in the name of finishing my book. Lately I feel like my life has been like a really good book. I’ve been really wrapped up in what I’m doing here in Jaco. I’ve postponed writing my blog, responding to emails, and plucking my eyebrows because I’ve been really wrapped up in my life here in Jaco. And this post is my attempt to get back into the swing of things. (And don’t worry, I plucked my eyebrows yesterday.)

Do you ever feel yourself changing? Maybe it’s a part of what they call “growing up.” I love working with kids. I love playing house, coloring, and laughing with little children. I pictured spending my life working with young children. But over the last couple months I began to feel God tug on my heart and speak to me about teenagers. Did not see that one coming but I thought, “Well okay God. I can do that. That will be something nice to do when I’m thirty. When I’m wise and experienced, married with a ‘mom hair cut,’ and where sun dresses everyday no matter the weather.” I can manage that when I’m thirty. About a month or so ago, I shared this vision with my good friend Robbie. I told her how that one day when I’m ready I’d like to work with adolescent girls through relationship and maybe even art. I also told her that day that I was not ready for that kind of thing. She looked at me and said, “Actually I think you are.” I flatly rejected that idea and immediately shot her down. I did not like being a teenager and have just nearly escaped teenager-dom. I’d much rather work with teenagers when I have something worth sharing--- life experience so to speak. But nonetheless Robbie told me again that she really did think I was “ready” and should give it a try. Only over the last two weeks have I really taken her seriously. From only being in Jaco for two months I have seen a lot of the crap that goes on here. And as much as I’d like to don a cape, fly off, and save the whole world, I know that I can’t. And although this makes me sad I don’t want to let it discourage me. I want to help as best as I can. There is a really cool church here that is super involved in the community. They have a youth group full of some really awesome teenagers.  I would really like to get to know them. To be able to just hang out and make friendships and most of all encourage them in their walks with the Lord. And so at the whopping age of nineteen, I’m going to help out in a youth group. Even with my lack of life experience and even though my hair and my Spanish are far from perfect. 

Lisa and I are going to try to get more involved in this youth group. We’re going to plan the weekly games for the youth group and even lead a small group. I’m excited. Nervous but excited. Leading a small group in Spanish is going to be quite a challenge for me. It’s much easier just to color with kindergartners. But I think this will be good. I’m going to learn a lot and I hope that I will be able to share as much as a possibly can. I hope that God will be able to use me to help out in this youth group. If you’d like to help me help out this youth group that is helping out this church that is helping out Jaco, I’d love to hear any suggestions that anyone has for fun games to do with teens! Any ideas or suggestions are super appreciated. Please continue to pray for me and my Spanish as I carry on living out this exciting story that God has written for me.