Thoughts on being bad.

“As a technique in therapy, I once looked down a little girl’s throat and declared that there was really a good kid inside. I saw that she had a good heart. ‘Are you sure?’ She asked. ‘Look again!’” – Attaching in Adoption by Deborah D. Gray

I read this passage in a book yesterday and I couldn’t help but be touched by it. “…..there was really a good kid inside.” I work with kids at risk. It’s difficult and even after only a month, I find myself getting discouraged at times. I’m only just getting started and I see challenges everywhere. Rowdy and poorly-behaved children. Mean children. Children who have been told all their lives the same thing: That they are bad. When I look at the children that I have been working with, I begin to ask myself some difficult questions. What do these children think of themselves? What have they been told? How do people treat them? What does God think of them? And how will I choose to think of them? I’d like to think that I will be the kind of person who will see the good kid inside. I will tell them to open up and say, “Ahhh,” as I search for the hope and kindness inside of them. That I will look past the shame and the hurt and search for that light and glimmer of the good kid inside. That I will love them as best as I can and choose everyday to be a tangible example of God’s love.

Jose. I met a little boy in a blue striped shirt on Saturday at kid’s club. His name was Jose. He is temperamental, easily frustrated, angry, and most of all violent. I didn’t need much warning that he was “difficult.” Just before craft time he and a boy began fighting and I saw how quickly it would escalate. I ran over, pulled the boys apart, put myself in between them, and grabbed Jose as the other boy ran off. How was I to handle this? It occurred to me that probably every time Jose  made a mistake, he was probably hit or probably even beaten. My guess is that was probably where he learned to fight. He is probably yelled at and told just how bad he really is. Is he ever shown love? How would God want me to handle this situation? I wrapped my arm around him and held him as he pulled away and threw punches. I held  him and said, “Shh…. Calm down. Calm down. Calm down.” I held him until the punches stopped and his breathing slowed. When I felt that he had calmed himself down and told him that he had done a good job. I let him run off back towards the crafts without saying a word to me. How often do you think a boy like that gets hugged? Is he less worthy of a hug because the world has deemed him bad? I think not. I made and extra special effort to tell Jose what an artist he was and what an excellent job he was doing on his craft. I hope that my encouragement will stay with him. May I always see that good kid inside. You can pray for Jose. Pray that he will see the good kid inside himself. I honestly believe that it would change his life.

Working with Jose at kid’s club on Saturday is not the only ministry I do. Monday-Friday I work in a kindergarten with ten kids. I love it. The kids are so adorable and so funny. I can’t wait to write all about them. I can’t wait to have time to write all about them. Tuesday through Friday we open up the skate ramp in the afternoons and hang out with the guys who come. Friday night I went out and helped feed some homeless people during the pouring rain. On Saturday I helped out kid’s club (and Jose) and went to youth group. At midnight my friends and I got up and went out to pray for the prostitutes. In my spare time I read books about children at risk and more importantly I read my Bible and relax and spend time with God. It makes all the difference in whether or not I’m able to see the good kid inside like God does. God is good. I hope that my life will be a reflection of that.